Finally at the Starting Line

So here it finally begins. With Senior Exhibition night over and one more item crossed off my ever growing list of priorities this year, I am officially graduating (which isn’t too much of a personal accomplishment because who are we kidding, the school wants us out of there anyways). I can say that for now, I am done jumping through hoops and that alone is enough for me to call for a celebration.

Hence, I am continuing the wonderful tradition of “Senior Skip Day.” Today is the day to go do something spontaneous, wonderful, thrilling or if you prefer, time to relax, and take a moment for yourself. Lately with family circumstances and events that have occurred, I’ve come to think heavily on my own life and the delicacy it really is weaved with.

We wake up everyday, prepared for another tomorrow, or not in my case which often ends with me turning my car around to grab my running shoes because I always manage to forget them despite them being the only things I actually need to run. But the confidence people hold in there being another tomorrow can be seen through the creation of words like, “tomorrow” and “next year, month..” Or how we spend most of our time planning.

Why do we do such things? I wonder at what point it occurred where the caveman no longer had to live day by day but could finally look around, take a deep breath, and say “Man, I’m going to take a nap because I can hunt for that mammoth tomorrow.” (Don’t take my word for it though. I routinely slept through history class).

We assume and we plan and we collaborate our lives woven with the idea that there is security in tomorrow.

But there is not.

Tomorrow is simply an idea. A time. A place that has not yet come. I believe we forget, myself included, that for many, tomorrow is something they will not see. Today is where you can place your bets. This time and place now is where you can be certain.

So here I am at the starting line. My toes are on the edge and my body is coiled with adrenaline ready to spring at the shot. There’s a long and winding path ahead of me full of uncertainty and hardships, but I know along the way it will be good. The choices I make at the turns will bring me to happiness and at the end, well c’mon, who are we kidding?

I’m in no rush, but I’ll “Mo Farrah” it across the tape.

But for now, today is a day to live. I’m not worried about tomorrow, I’m focused on the here and now because that is all I am certain of. I am confident in my future endeavors, but I will live day by day because life is delicate and that delicacy, woven through our threads that cross and tangle together, is a reminder that I’m not invincible or immortal. I am young, I am healthy, and I have a ways to go before I am at the end, but I am here and now and right now…

Late for Senior Skip Day

In loving memory and regards to my grandmother, Barbara, who passed away March 12, 2015. Her beauty and spirit, though darkened by pain and cancer, finally shone through in her last moments and she will be remembered for her light. Much love, Grandma B. 


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